Women know that life is loaded with challenges. Single mothers face hurdles every day. In my new book Living Learning Loving, I share from my heart and my personal experiences ways to tackle the troubles head-on, ways to turn your life around.
1. Turn Loneliness Into Sacred Solitude
Single moms often experience loneliness. Being lonely, however, is not the same as being alone. Solitude can be a treasured time for women. I state in Living Learning Loving, “I’ve spent many days in solitude, some by choice — others not. Either way I learned more, stretched more, and grew more during those times. Aloneness need not be lonely. It can be a time for needed change and insight into your plans and choices. It can even be seen as ‘me’ time when you can focus on your own needs, wants, and desires for the future.” Loneliness can provide a time for solitude, an opportunity to grow something new in your life.
2. Weak Boundaries Into Personal Freedom
Another challenge that is common with single moms is weak boundaries. Our personal boundaries start in our mind. How you think of yourself determines how you set your boundaries. If you have healthy self-respect, you will find it easy to set personal boundaries. If, however, you grew up in a dysfunctional or abusive home, you probably are uncomfortable when it comes to saying no or setting limits with people. You may isolate yourself and find it hard to develop safe relationships. “We don’t always know how out of balance our boundaries are until they are challenged. Rebuilding a marriage or going through a divorce are the times that expose where our boundary lines lay and where they need to change,” as I state in the book.
If your boundaries are weak, you may be allowing nasty people into your private territory so to speak. Nasty people aren’t necessarily easy to recognize.
God’s grace is the answer to discerning when a “nasty” person is taking advantage of you.
3. Personality Masks to True Authenticity
Finally, women who go through a troublesome marriage and divorce benefit from personality assessment. Identifying the strengths and struggles of our personalities helps each of us to be our best selves. We may have put on masks to cover up our true natures and to please a partner. Masking means you are not behaving according to your God-given personality. You can remove the mask and be free. As I explain in the book, personality masks need to be removed. “As I grew spiritually my mask no longer fit, and slowly the edges curled back and I could see the deep impressions that wearing it had left on my life. I also got a glimpse of the person underneath. I was growing now and these spread-out-your-roots pains were uncomfortable.”
Overcoming loneliness, identifying boundary weaknesses, and removing personality masks will turn your life around. You will enjoy solitude. You will have personal freedom. You will discover your true self which will turn you to a SMORE — a Single Mom who is Overjoyed, Rejuvenated, and Empowered.
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