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A Little Sin Never Hurt Anyone

CC photo courtesy of Lnk.Si via Flickr
CC photo courtesy of Lnk.Si via Flickr

I’ve tried this online dating thing off and on for the last few years. Match, eHarmony, Christian Mingle, you name it.

Last year a 4-½-month relationship came out of it. But after three days of prayer and fasting, I knew without a doubt he was not the man God wanted me to be with. If he had his way, we would’ve been married on our third date. But you see, he loved me more than Jesus, and as Sweet Brown says, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”

Honestly, I don’t think it was me he loved. He loved the idea of being married. He loved the thought of calling someone his wife. Not that there’s anything wrong with desiring to be married, but when that wish trumps your desire to make your relationship with God a priority, then something doesn’t match up.

Several months later, I learned that he had begun dating another woman—a married woman—only a month after our breakup. She divorced, and they got married, and now they’re living “happily ever after.” Oh, how grateful I am I chose to be obedient to God and end that relationship!

One of many lessons I learned from that experience: Don’t settle for less.

So here I am, back to the online dating thing, putting my foot in the water again, perusing through my matches daily to see if Prince Charming is behind the screen.

Then I get an email: “He’s interested in you.” That was a good start to my morning. His picture caught my eye. We’re off to a good start. He doesn’t smoke. He’s active. Oh … and he’s self employed. That’s attractive. He loves to travel, meet new people, listen to live music and take motorcycle rides. I’m game for a motorcycle ride with the right person.

Then I read these words: “I prefer someone with faith, but doesn’t get too carried away with it. I don’t mind a little sin as long as it’s in good taste.”

Everything in that sentence yells, “Run as fast as you can!” He doesn’t mind a little sin as long as it’s in good taste? How I want to grab him by his attractive face and say, “You don’t get it, buddy! There is no sin with good taste.”

I would guess that all sin starts with a little “good taste,” wouldn’t you? It all starts small.

You’re just talking with the married woman on your lunch break. Soon, she starts complaining to you about her husband. Then you’re having dinner together, to listen to her “share her heart.” Next thing you know, her marriage is destroyed and you’re paying off the one-night-stands on your credit card.

A little pornography never hurt anyone. Magazines here and there soon become Internet porn. Then small children are being abducted and murdered.

These may be extreme examples, but you get my point.

In Song of Solomon 2:15, King Solomon said, “Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming!”

Sin with “good taste” starts out as a little fox. It sneaks its way into the blossoming vineyard and destroys it. Lives are ruined, and if the vineyard gets destroyed, we’ll never be able to enjoy a good glass of wine over dinner with friends.

No matter how attractive he/she may be, or regardless of their “perfect” dating profile, if you see the above, run. Block him. Delete her. Don’t let the fox in.

God has something so much better for you. Don’t settle for less simply because you desire a relationship. It will be worth it in the end, I promise.

About the author

Sundi Jo is a speaker, author and founder of Esther’s House of Redemption. She blogs at sundijo.com, and her latest book, Dear Dad, was released in spring 2013. Find her on Twitter (@sundijo).  Oh … and she’s currently accepting applications for a husband.


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  1. Thanks for that timely reminder. Two years after a failed online dating relationship ended I am thinking about trying again.

  2. Joanne Chantelau Hofmeister

    “Don’t settle for less.” I like this! Don’t settle for less than a mature man of God. I can back up these words as a newlywed who waited for 21 years of her adult life for a husband. It’s worth the wait to let God bring His man into your life…and to allow Him to make you spiritually mature enough for him as well. I was tempted to settle a few times, but I’m so glad I didn’t. Thanks for reminding us how important this is!

  3. Thank you for this! Online dating is tough! I feel like I’m not very good at it. Look forward to reading more.

  4. I love the picture at the beginning of this article! Lol.

    I find that dating, online or otherwise, is more bother (and pain) than it’s worth for me. Christian men don’t want to actually date. They want to play games and I don’t have time for that. I’m 49 and never been married. I haven’t had any serious relationships.

    Sad to say, when I paid for a matching service for a year, most of the guys who weren’t Christian (that’s who most of my matches were) treated me better than Christian men have.

    Christian guys have had some weird stuff, too: one guy only wanted a Baptist woman; another went to a church that would use only the KJV bible; a third, well, he was a control freak with hints of anti-semitism. Sadder still, I’ve read posts from “Christian” women on FB pages that make them as nutty. What happened to spiritual fruit rather than religious nuts?

    Note: these guys weren’t young Christians, new to the faith. I hope you find a good one.

    • Jen, thanks for sharing. I encourage you not to put all Christian men in the category of “want to play games.” There’s someone out there, but we certainly can’t settle for less.

      • I agree there are good ones out there. Thank you for your response. I see no point in looking anymore. When I was younger and more naïve, I had the energy and desire to look. The ensuing years have brought too much damage. It’s like what a female movie character once said: if they think a woman is messed up, they say some guy did something to them as a girl. No! It’s because grown men did something.

        I’m not saying all men are bad, but there’s enough to do some damage.

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