Wednesday, December 11, 2019
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How To Survive The Holidays While Single

CC Photo Courtesy of christina rutz via Flickr
CC Photo Courtesy of christina rutz via Flickr

The holidays are upon us—Christmas, New Year’s and all that they entail. What an incredible time! Not only are we celebrating the birth of our Savior who transformed our entire world completely and eternally; we also get to spend extra time with those we love and value—family, friends and co-workers.

The holiday season can also carry with it an acute awareness of being single.

Before I was married, when the holiday season would approach, it was almost like a neon sign illuminated my status of ‘party of one, please.’ This probably had much to do with the number of years I was a single adult before marriage. There were many of them. I would breathe a sigh of relief if I was in some kind of relationship during that season or had a friend date. You know, the “friend date”—that friend, normally but not always of the opposite gender, who will go with you to the annual holiday soiree without a lot of in-depth information or explanation needed.

There tends to be an overwhelmingly large amount of gatherings and parties during this time, which also tend to come with the expectation of a date, spouse or significant other.

First, there’s the work Christmas party. This is the annual work event where everyone, and I mean everyone, brings their spouse or significant other. Seeing my co-workers day in and day out at the office or in passing is different than walking through the door of the aforementioned gala, all dolled up with only me, myself and I in tow.

Secondly, there’s the multiple family gatherings . Most singles dream of the day when they can take that special someone home to meet the parents. I definitely did. I normally lived in another state than my family, so I always could add in the pressure of all the questions about the current state of affairs in my love life, all from well-meaning relatives and friends, but nonetheless highlighting my acute singles awareness.

These happenings are only two of many that singles may face this year. Singleness during the holidays can send a barrage of lies and negative thoughts that can batter our self-worth and take away from the joy of the season. Believe me, I think I experienced all of them.

I wish I would have had some of the insights and revelation I now carry for how to survive the holidays while single.

There is one thing I learned along my journey of singleness that revolutionized my life in that area and every other area. I have to give credit to my greatest mentors, Steve and Wendy Backlund, for introducing me to this powerful and life-changing revelation—a revelation that they got through 10 years of tough stuff, which they then passed on to me in one year, while I served their ministry.

How to Survive the Holidays While Single in One Single Point: Saturate Yourself in Truth

We’re complete in Christ; we don’t need a spouse for that. We also don’t need a spouse to be happy. That doesn’t mean that when we desire a spouse we never deal with thoughts of hopelessness or discouragement. One of our greatest strengths as Christians is living out of a place of our identity in Christ. We’re fully loved, fully accepted and fully known in God. Have you noticed that this area of identity is also the area that gets the most questions thrown at it? Jesus experienced the exact same thing. Check out Luke 4:1-13.

This holiday season is a perfect time to ramp up truth that combats any of the lies that may get thrown our way. Romans 12:1-2 says that we have the ability to renew our minds and be transformed. We get to put into practice Proverbs 18:21 daily, and in greater frequency during the holidays. “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” What kind of fruit are you eating this holiday season?

God is a God of hope. He is always hopeful about our situation, including our desire for marriage. He’s the one who set marriage up in the first place.

Romans 15:13 states “Now, may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Notice that abounding hope, joy and peace come when we believe.

Practically, one of the simplest ways of cultivating these truths into beliefs in our lives is to speak or declare them. “Faith comes by hearing …” (Romans 10:17)

This one truth has literally changed my life. It’s only a matter of time until our experience lines up with our beliefs and our words.

When I was a single woman, I would use specific declarations to combat lies and hopelessness with truth until I really did believe. I encourage you to take the declarations below and speak them over yourself as often as needed during this holiday season.

Ladies first:

  • I am a desirable woman and worth pursuit.
  • I am joyful, hopeful and expectant of God’s goodness during this holiday season
  • God is setting me up to have an incredible, long-lasting and fulfilling marriage relationship.
  • It’s easy for me to meet the man of my dreams, fall in love and get married.

And now, for the Gentlemen:

  • I have what it takes to pursue and lead a godly woman.
  • I am joyful, hopeful and expectant of God’s goodness during this holiday season.
  • God is setting me up to have an incredible, long-lasting and fulfilling marriage relationship.
  • It’s easy for me to meet the woman of my dreams, fall in love and get married.

You are the leading lady or man of your unique love story, partnered with a God who is backing your words and beliefs today to move you toward your desire for marriage.

 Wendee Mannon is a relationship coach and staff/blog writer for OnDaySix.com.

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