Wednesday, September 19, 2018
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Single For The Holidays

Walking into the party by myself. No hand to hold. Feeling like everyone is staring at me. Trying to find someone I know to talk to.

Spending the holidays alone can be tough. Others may feel sorry for you or think something is wrong with you. It can be awkward and uncomfortable. I spent many years alone and single at Thanksgiving and Christmas time.

Sure, I had my friends and family. But that deep longing to have someone to celebrate the holidays with never went away. Showing up to the holiday parties and seeing others with their significant other only made me want it even more!

But you don’t have to put your life on hold because you’re single.

Go To The Parties

I will be the first to admit I had a few pity parties throughout my time of being single. Days of loneliness seemed to overwhelm me and were sometimes inevitable. You can probably relate. But you don’t have to stay stuck there. Get up and get out! Put on your prettiest dress or best suit. Go to the parties. I would go to parties alone, and I actually ended up having fun! I met new people and made new friends. I dressed up or wore my ugliest Christmas sweater. A few years ago, my girlfriends and I had our own dinner party at a local restaurant. Then we went to look at Christmas lights, walked around town, and looked at some of the shops. It was so much fun! Have your own holiday party filled with the people who love you most. Add music and laughter.

Make Your Own Traditions

Just because you don’t have a spouse yet doesn’t mean you can’t make the holidays special. Make your own holiday traditions. Spend time with your family, go Christmas shopping for others or put up decorations. I decorated my tiny apartment with a Christmas tree, candles and lights. The cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies are always on repeat. Christmas jazz music like Nat King Cole and Frank Sinatra are some of my favorites to listen to around this time of year too. On Christmas day I love to wear either festive pajamas or a red sweater to make the day merrier. What are some of your favorite things to do around the holidays? Don’t wait until you’re married; make the most of your time now! These are traditions that you’ll be able to share with that special someone someday.

Rest, Reflect and Rejuvenate

The end of the year is always a good time for me to rest, reflect and rejuvenate. Making time for myself is crucial to my health and well-being. I specifically set time aside to rest, making sure I get plenty of sleep, take a break from social media or read a book. Rest may look different for you. Make sure you take a step back from your normal routine and do something that gives you rest. The world can be so demanding. We all need a break from the busyness of life. Rest your mind.

Reflect back on the past year and see how far you’ve come. Sure, there may have been some difficult times. But you know what? You got through them. You’re stronger than you think … maybe even a little wiser. Focusing on this will help you continue moving forward and see where there is room for improvement. We are all a work in progress. None of us are perfect. Reflection also gives me a chance to take everything off my plate and ask God what He wants me to focus on for the coming year. Think about your own life. Ask God what things need to change.

To rejuvenate, I love having spa days. Get a massage one day. Another day, schedule a hair appointment or even get a manicure and pedicure. It’s always refreshing to pamper yourself! Take time to enjoy nature. Maybe take a walk in the park with your dog or go camping. Time at the beach or in the mountains is always good too. Whatever you prefer, take time out for yourself.

Last but not least, spend time with the Lord to restore your soul. The past year may have taken a toll on you. Maybe you’re feeling lost, discouraged or even depressed. Be honest with the Lord about how you’re feeling. He already knows. But He wants you to give all your wants, needs, and desires to Him. Make a gratitude list. It’s amazing how fulfilled I feel when I focus on all there is to be grateful for. Let Him fill your heart with hope, peace and excitement for the next year.

About Karen Hageman

Karen has a bachelor of science degree in human resource management from the University of Maryland University College and a master’s in human relations from the University of Oklahoma. She loves to sing, write, encourage and empower others in their gifts. Having gone through an abusive marriage, painful divorce, and six years of singleness, she hopes that her testimony will bring healing and hope to others. She is now married to the most amazing man. Karen and her husband, Danny, currently reside in North Richland Hills, Texas. They have a dog named Ringo Starr.
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