This weekend a girlfriend of mine asked, “Would you date a man if he had all the emotional qualities you are looking for but wasn’t your physical preference?” Without hesitation, I answered “Absolutely.”
Yes, deep down every girl desires a man whose gene pool will produce beautiful children the rest of the world will “oooh” and “aaah” over, but that isn’t the top priority on our list. Looks fade; we will all be wrinkled and old soon, but having a life partner who supports you and cares for your heart is far more important than how good looking he is.
As I answered her question, I wondered how many single men know and understand exactly what a female is longing for when it comes to finding a spouse. So, single men, here’s a look into the things women really long for—the things no amount of time in the gym will help you achieve.
1. Your biceps can’t protect my heart.
No matter your physical strength or how much you can lift at the gym, your biceps can’t protect the most valuable part of me, my heart. I need a man who understands the strength of his words and his actions. A man who understands the power his words and actions have far supersede the power his physical body can exert.
2. Your biceps can’t teach others about our loving Savior.
The power a man can spread through his ability to share the gospel is an insanely attractive trait. Rather than focusing on building your muscle memory, focus on strengthening the muscle memory of your brain by expanding your knowledge of Scripture.
3. Your biceps can’t spread wisdom to future generations.
I desire to be intellectually stimulated by your words, challenged by our conversations. I desire to see you share the lessons you have learned in your life with the generations coming up behind you. Your biceps can’t speak truth into the lives of others.
4. Your biceps can’t appreciate and understand my willingness to serve and love people.
While your biceps would come in handy spending a Saturday morning restoring homes for the disabled elderly in the community, more important than that is the heart of the man who desires to do so. I long to serve with you—to climb under bridges and behind run-down buildings, looking for the homeless seeking any ounce of shelter they can find and helping them find purpose in life.
5. Your biceps can’t provide me a life partner who sticks by my side through tough times.
When the obstacles and challenges life throws our way become difficult to bear, your emotional strength will be a necessity. I need a partner who can persevere through life’s challenges with me.
6. Your biceps can’t offer words of encouragement.
While your biceps can physically embrace me to bring comfort when necessary, they can’t pray with me, they can’t remind me of what God’s Word says and they can’t support me when I need my partner to help lift my spirit.
7. Your biceps can’t banter with me and appreciate my crazy sense of humor.
To look into a man’s eyes as you playfully joke with each other, and see yourselves laughing together 50 years from now is a feeling every woman longs for. As our looks fade, it may bring some unexpected laughter, but nothing can replace the fun, flirtatious banter we long for our children to grow up seeing between their parents.
I know I can’t speak for all women when I say this, but I would much rather have personality over pecs, humor over hotness, values over vigor, and emotional strength over physical strength.