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Anna Hayes

Anna is a 30-year-old who recently left the East Coast for a life as a grad student in a small city somewhere in the middle. She spent several years in East Asia teaching English and loves words, language and being a small part of applying the Gospel to current cultural trends: gender-role confusion, marriage/family breakdown, sexual sin and delayed marriage/unintended singleness.

Shedding The Orphan Mentality

On my best days, I can say with Tim Keller that “Jesus is enough.” But many times I am living with that “left over attitude,” orphan-like frame of mind — and I see flickers of it in other singles as well. We read the promises of God to us in Scripture that He is our portion, our strength, our refuge, our family — and yet we still …

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When All You Want For Christmas Is Your Mate

I’m finding it extremely difficult to believe that Christmas is barely a day away from now. December seemed to fly by, and I’m a little nervous about what the new year will bring. Maybe for you, like me, this past year was pretty horrible. My job situation went from bad to worse, and my financial situation followed suit. I was …

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When Transition Gets You Down

I just want to live in one place for more than two years. This is a refrain that I’ve said to myself over and over again for a half a decade. Transition seems to be the modern way of life. Few have long careers but series after series of jobs. Few people (singles especially, it seems) live in one place …

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The Death Of The Compliment

Dearly beloved: We are gathered here today to honor and commemorate the death of … the compliment. No one is quite sure how it died, and unfortunately, the autopsy is far from conclusive. At this time, no person has been implicated in its death, but the police are still investigating. If you’ve seen hip-hop artist Akon, his friend David Guetta, …

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What Frank Sinatra Got Wrong

I’m glad I didn’t get married at 25. At 25, I was unconsciously looking for a guy to glance my way and sing Brad Paisley’s line from under a wide white brim, “Now you’re my whole life. Now you’re my whole world. I just can’t believe the way I feel about you girl.” This mystery man also needed to go …

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Passion Isn’t Just For Married People

There is a mistaken idea — even among Christians — that passion and all the energy that goes with it are the unique property of the sexually active (or in the Christian context — the married). For cultural reasons from Sex and the City to Taylor Swift’s unfillable, Blank Space, passion has become synonymous with sex and lust. Sure, passion …

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What Singles Need From Pastors

Don’t worry, it won’t be long before someone snatches you up. Oh, there’s always more fish in the sea. Make sure you don’t let yourself go. God’s being gracious to others. Just keep running after God, look to the side and see who’s running next to you. So many times, pastors’ advice or responses to single adults either in sermons, …

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Why I Tossed My List

I used to be one of those girls who kept a list … the list of what I was looking for in a husband. Between the youth group I Kissed Dating Goodbye seminar and the “modest is hottest” discussion, I figured I needed to make a list of what I wanted in a potential spouse. In my fourteen year-old mind, …

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Freedom On Valentine’s Day

You thought it was safe to resume watching Hulu. You thought you’d seen the last of the inane, holiday-themed Kay Jewelers commercials. Christmas is long gone. But, as the stores took down greenery and twinkle lights, they stocked the shelves with adorable little pink and red trinkets, baubles, fluffy bears, and the arch nemesis of New Year’s dieters everywhere—the heart-shaped …

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Why Waiting Is Harder Than Ever

Why Waiting is Harder Than Ever

Type “sex and the single Christian” into your preferred bookseller’s search engine, and you’ll find a plethora of titles encouraging everything from chastity to restraint, from celibacy to True Love Waits and the latest Rebecca St. James album. Well-meaning pastors wade in to the topic, encouraging the unmarried to exercise just a little more self-control. But what’s missing from most …

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