Being Single

Dear Christmas, I am writing this letter to tell you how I feel. I have been bottling up these emotions for most of my adult life. It is time to show up and tell my truth to you. To put it bluntly: I love you and I hate you. The early years with you were so memorable. We would get …

There was a time in my life when I felt utterly alone. It was my first year of graduate school, and I was living off-campus in my own apartment. I was no longer surrounded by the hustle and bustle of college life. Though I had three roommates, we were each wrapped up in doing our own things, and our lives …

Sometimes love simply doesn’t go as planned. If you’re like me, you’ve watched enough movies and every romantic comedy known to mankind, and at some point you subliminally acquired the notion that love is your right, and that without it you won’t be happy. Unfortunately, most people’s love lives don’t follow a Hollywood script. Some people never find the big …

Remember the story of Sleeping Beauty, the lovely maiden who was cursed to wait until her Prince arrived to rescue her with a kiss and whisk her off to Ever After? For years and years she slept, unable to move forward with her life, trapped by her circumstances, all her hopes and dreams suspended, waiting for her Prince to arrive. …

If you’re anything like many of the single women I’ve come into contact with, you have pretty much given up on the idea of being recklessly pursued by a man. Forget the fairy-tale dream of being chased after in an attempt to win your heart.  Forget the love letters, the roses, the poems and songs.  Forget it all. At this …

“Do you want to be married?” If you have been single long enough, you have heard this question many times. Whether you are at a family reunion, meeting a new neighbor, sitting beside someone at church, changing jobs or attending any singles function, the question comes up. Before I can give them one of my much-thought-out sarcastic answers, they follow …

I was recently on a relationship panel with several other single women and men alongside married people. One of the questions submitted by the audience toward the singles was: “Why are you single?” Of all the answers considered, such as “I haven’t been found yet” or “I’m overqualified” or something of the like, I responded that I don’t want to …

Have you ever felt pressured to improve who you are to get what you want? Of course you have; we all have. In fact, that is one of the most dangerous thoughts in singleness: I am alone because there is something wrong with me. If you are a female and over a certain age – 12 – you will inevitably …

It’s almost Valentine’s Day—again. Reminders are everywhere: People kissing in public more often than usual. Co-workers gushing about the surprise dates their spouses are planning. Facebook is laden with people professing undying love for their new girlfriend, their husband of 20 years, or even their favorite pet! (I wonder if these people think they’re off the Valentine’s Day hook because of a post that took them 35 seconds …

I have a lot of experience with what it’s like to be a Christian single gal living in the millennial age. Some holidays can drive a single woman in her late 30s to scream at Valentine’s Day. Another pass at Christmas, another New Year and, oh-no-Heaven-forbid, another Valentine’s Day … still unmarried and single. Should I hurry up and jump online to meet …