“I’m in a relationship with a Narcissist. What do I do?” This is the most common question I’ve received since I started writing on the subject. In this post, I want to give the beginning of an answer. Of course some direction regarding what to do involves direction regarding what not to do. 1. Don’t become narcissistic yourself. This is a …
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Narcissism Part 3: Understanding Human Development
Narcissism is essentially a distortion in the human development process. People are designed to move from dependence (I am not self-managing) to independence (I am self-managing) to interdependence (two self-managing people in relationship). The healthy development of independence appropriate to each season of life is what positions us to cultivate healthy relationships. One of the key aspects of our development …
Read More »Narcissism Part 2: Life With A Narcissist
For years she has disappeared in the relationship. This is what has to be done to keep the peace. There are so many ways he knows to punish her into this reality. She feels invisible. Stuck. Voiceless. She has lost herself and wonders if she can ever “be” again. She reaches the point of no more and begins to speak. …
Read More »Narcissism Part 1: Communicating Needs In A Relationship
In a marriage it’s good to have some effective tools and strategies for resolving conflict when it arises. There’s a particular brand of conflict I have seen over and over again that’s better to avoid altogether. Rather than resolving it, just don’t have it to begin with. There are two components essential to all communication: 1) the message sent, and …
Read More »What I Learned From Online Dating
It was my younger sister’s 39th birthday, and she texted me with the news: She got engaged. That meant I was the lone spinster of four sisters, 40 years old with no potential marriage partners in sight — and no potential dates in sight, either. I’d never had a lot of experience with dating. My first date turned out to …
Read More »Why I Won’t Chase Him (Anymore)
Dating in today’s world is almost too convenient. At any moment of the day or night, you can log onto your choice of dating sites and connect with literally hundreds of men. When I started this second season of dating in my life, I was fascinated by the opportunity to send someone a quick note and start pursuing getting to …
Read More »5 Signs You Should Walk Away
You want more than anything for your relationship to work. You are willing to overlook quirks and even a little bit of weirdness because most of your Significant Other’s life is pretty much put together … most of the time. But there are those pesky red flags that keep popping up as you progress to deeper levels. When is it …
Read More »If Heterosexual Marriage Were Illegal
It’s apparently wedding season. I’ve seen so many engagements and weddings on social media lately that it seems like someone is always getting hitched. As a single person it’s really what I should expect. I’m single, a lot of my friends are single, and I go to events where single people are present. So since most of my friends are …
Read More »Lost Dates Because Of A Failure To Communicate
Communication is necessarily part of our daily lives, and yet it can be so frustrating. People say one thing and mean another, and true intentions become hard to discern. While everyone has experienced hurtful misunderstandings at times, the problem can be especially frustrating for singles seeking to establish meaningful relationships — whether friendships, dating relationships, or more. Lack of clear …
Read More »A Letter From Cinderella To Peter Pan
Letter From Cinderella to Peter Pan Dear Peter, We have now been on three dates. I loved our time flying to Never Never Land. (I especially liked it the second time, when Wendy didn’t tag along.) Flying with you was so romantic. My heart has been fluttery for days. I must admit that I got my hopes up. I have given …
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