When Love Came Down

Lately, I’ve been basking in the fact that I am eternally connected to Jesus.

I’ve been remembering the history we have together, and this reassures me about the future.

Soon, I will become David’s wife. That thought excites me, and it’s a sobering thought as well. I’ve never done this life event before. And then I remember that I have been in a committed relationship with Jesus for a very long time. We’ve had our (one-sided) fights and I’ve been battered by trauma, cried in the dark places and He has never left my side. He has always come through for me, even when I doubted His presence.

I never realized how much a history with God would reassure me in the midst of navigating a relationship with a person. As I walk through this relationship and look toward the future, I find myself applying lessons learned from walking with God while single to my present reality. God was beginning to teach me about commitment when He allowed my faith to experience shaking, when He asked me to trust Him in the dark. God was also teaching me to hold feelings loosely during those years in my young teens when I panicked or felt guilty whenever I lacked a sense of feeling for God. He taught me that feelings come and go, but His commitment to me is constant. The choice to stay committed to God is not always accompanied by feeling fireworks. And that’s okay. It is still real.

I’ve also realized how His voice has grown so familiar to me over the years. Around 14 years ago, I remember how much I agonized over trying to figure out if He was really calling me to the foreign field someday or if I just wanted to go. I latched on to every senior who had served overseas and begged them to help me understand this ethereal concept of “the call.” How on earth would I know? And then, as the years passed and I continued to walk with Him, I learned to distinguish His voice and recognize His hand. In the early part of this year, I knew He was speaking to me again, this time regarding the second most important decision of my life. In years past, I would have felt like I needed others to tell me: “You should marry this man.” I was awed to discover that my heart had enough peace and confidence just from recognizing the leading of my Shepherd. The input of the people in my life has been wonderful, encouraging, and confirming. But the real reason I’m stepping out into this new season is because I know that Jesus is leading me there.

This week during our midweek worship service, the lights were dim and we were singing “Love Came Down.” Those moments of worshipping the One I love through these words will forever remain imprinted on my heart. It was like looking into the eyes of someone who has loved you and cared for you for most of your life; you look into that family member/friend/spouse’s eyes and you remember: It’s me and you. It will always be me and you.

If my heart is overwhelmed,

and I cannot hear your voice.

I hold on to what is true,

Though I cannot see.

If the storms of life they come,

And the road ahead gets steep.

I will lift these hands in faith,

I will believe.

I’ll remind myself

Of all that You’ve done

And this life I have

Because of Your Son.

Love came down and rescued me,

Love came down and set me free.

I am Yours,

Lord, I’m forever Yours.

Mountain high or valley low,

I sing out and remind my soul

I am Yours,

I am forever Yours.

When my heart is filled with hope,

Every promise comes my way.

When I feel Your hands of grace

Rest upon me.

Staying desperate for You God,

Staying humble at Your feet.

I will lift these hands in praise

I will believe.

I am Yours,

I am forever Yours.

It’s me and You, Jesus. It’s been me and You for a long time, and even major life changes won’t alter that fact. My connection to Jesus has nothing to do with  job status, marital status, “ministry status,” family status. It has everything to do with the Cross.  No matter what changes come into my life, this one thing remains constant, familiar, steadfast.

You are here with me. You will continue to lead me, guide me, comfort me, correct me, take care of me. I am Yours.

Unsought, thou hast given me the greatest gift,

the person of thy Son,

in Him thou wilt give me all I need.

—The Valley of Vision