Tag Archives: Communication

Everyone wants to be in love. At least we say we do, and usually mean it. But often it’s about what we want love to do for us: make us happy, fulfill us, provide stability. We don’t always realize that love and all its benefits aren’t free; they come with a cost. They require us to change, grow, work and …

How do you function around emotionally unstable people? You know who I’m talking about. That one person who dominates the conversation talking about their problems, yet cuts you off when you mention something about your own life. Or that coworker who relies on you to be emotionally supportive while they go through their divorce, yet offers no support when you’re …

Honesty. It’s one thing we all say we want in a relationship, right? Maybe we’ve been led on or betrayed in the past. Maybe we’ve become fed up with mixed signals and trying to navigate the guessing game of the dating world. Or maybe we just have a hard time opening up to others and being honest ourselves. Whatever the …

There’s something really great about being single. Sometimes we realize that during our singleness, and sometimes we don’t. There’s a tremendous amount of freedom during this time in our lives. Freedom to do what we want, be who we want to be and live however we see fit. It can also be a time where we avoid the real issues …

Good relationships are built, but so are bad relationships. Our relationships hold evidence that exposes the truth of what we’ve built. Social media is the neon sign for social proof of what we’ve built in our relationships. It’s all about connection and validation. We’re wired for community and need our brothers- and sisters-in-arms to help us battle through life. However, …

I don’t like small talk. I like to think that I am average at participating in the activity, but I tend to see it as a means to an end. To me, it is a simple establishment of basic structures so that deeper, more meaningful conversation can eventually take place. Think of it like setting up scaffolding so that serious, …

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a mental health diagnosis. Only qualified mental health professionals can or should diagnose NPD. There are thorough and effective assessment tools that a professional can administer, that, combined with other qualitative measures, can make an accurate diagnosis possible. I am not a mental health professional. I’m a pastor. In writing about narcissism, it’s important to me …

Differentiation and Individuation are terms used to describe a developmental process everyone needs to go through in their path toward maturity. My (probably oversimplified) understanding of these terms is that in differentiation, I learn that I’m not a you; in individuation, I learn that I am a me. So these are related processes and ideas. They happen together and each affects …

I remember a particular phone call with a classic narcissist. His wife of many years had finally had enough and kicked him out of the house. He was about to lose everything. His marriage. His kids. His financial future. The very image he had worked to build was collapsing around him. He phoned me to rage and cry about what …

Narcissistic Parenting is especially toxic. A relationship by its very nature designed to be about the benefit of the child is used instead as a source of narcissistic supply by the parent. Let’s take a look at the various aspects of narcissism and how they affect the parent/child relationship. Identity The narcissist looks to others as a source of identity …