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2 Ways Your Mindset Can Become A Roadblock In Your Single Journey

We face roadblocks in our single journeys that can keep us from getting what God has for us in life. One of those roadblocks can very well be tied to what goes on in our minds. Sure, we can blame other people, or we can blame our circumstances, but what about our mindsets?

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he… –Proverbs 23:7a

What you habitually think about leads to certain behaviors and actions. Here are some common lies that we often believe during our single season. The enemy uses these to attack us in the battlefield of our minds:

  • You missed out on or you lost someone special.
  • You’re too old to find someone now.
  • Something is wrong with you.
  • Who will love you? You’ve made too many mistakes.
  • You should be here or there by now.
  • Everyone is getting blessed but you.

And you’ve probably heard plenty more lies. The enemy does not want us to believe God, trust God, worship God, or live for God. The devil, the father of lies, is very active on his job. We as children of God have to do our part and stand on the Lord’s Word in the midst of the enemy’s lies and tactics.

What are you constantly thinking about?

In school you learned through repeated actions, to the point that the actions became second nature and you were comfortable with them. Consider what thoughts you are continuously playing in your mind and are lived out through in your actions. Are there lies you’ve come to believe about yourself, your age, your purpose or your identity in Christ? Proverbs 3:5 says:

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

You need to shift your own thinking and zoom out to see God’s perspective on the matter that’s bothering you.

What do you need to forgive yourself for?

Oftentimes we get distracted by negative mindsets. These mindsets may suggest that we’ve made too many  mistakes in our past. We can get stuck on those beliefs. We then think that we’re the only ones who can fix it. Or since we’re the ones who got us into this mess, we have to get ourselves out of it too. But God is more than capable of redeeming us. Colossians 3:2 says:

Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.

We are to rely on the One who loves us unconditionally. We don’t have to stay stuck in that space of shame, condemnation and regret. Instead, we need to shift our mindset in our singleness.

How do you win the war?

So how can we combat these thoughts that seem inevitable, no matter how strong our faith is? Thankfully God understands our minds and gives us the spiritual and practical methods to secure the victory over our roadblocks. Just as there are plenty of lies that the enemy will attack us with, there are plenty of promises in the Word.

The lies will come, the past will try to remind us of our mistakes, the current circumstances may even be discouraging, but remember this passage in Ephesians 4:22-25:

… to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.

This Scripture reminds us to not focus on the past. But be renewed in our minds, live righteously, reject the lies and speak the truth to one another.

Jesus tells us not to have an anxious or unsettled mind in Luke 12:29. The One who calms our storms confirms that we can overcome roadblocks when we settle and abide in Him:

And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried.

This leads us to Philippians 4:6-9 in which Paul tells us to go to God first with our anxieties and worries, and by giving us examples — and plenty of them I may add — of things to think about instead.

… do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

When we apply Scriptures to our lives daily, we take authority over our minds and thoughts.

Feeling overwhelmed and stuck right now? You have everything you need through Jesus Christ. You can remove those roadblocks by changing your mind, by agreeing with the Word of God. Find those Scriptures that speak to your specific circumstance, and find freedom in Christ.

You can live in victory with perfect contentment … in this season!

About Tatianah Green

Tatianah Green is a multimedia content creator and editor with a passion for writing. In 2012 she launched the blog {Black Love & Inspiration for Saved Singles} to encourage singles in faith and love. She is also a contributing writer for several other websites including Culture and God, Black and Married With Kids, and The Wire Hanger By Winnie. She recently published her first book entitled Journey to 30: A Single Woman's Guide to Living Unapologetically Without Deadlines. As she embraces her thirties, Tatianah works, plays and lives unapologetically for Christ in Chicago.
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