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Confessions Of A Single Woman: Marriage Isn’t My Goal

Confessions of a Single Woman

Have you ever been talking to someone and they said something that you knew was exactly what you needed to hear? Maybe they didn’t even mean it for you, but they were just sharing their heart concerning a conversation or a situation. That happened to me recently when I was talking to my mom.

In my life, my mom is one of my greatest sources of wisdom. If I’ve got a problem to work through she’s my first phone call. It’s not because she gives me the answer I’m looking for either. Actually, many times what she tells me is not what I want to hear or do. I trust her input because she knows the Lord and she knows the Bible. She’ll never give me advice outside of those sources and that’s exactly why I go to her.

Sometimes she gives me wisdom when I haven’t even been looking for it.

I was helping my mom hang laundry one afternoon and as we worked she shared a conversation she had recently with a girl she was mentoring. They were having a conversation my mom and I have had many times — she was mourning her singleness. Admittedly, the girl has some complicated issues in her life, which make the prospect of getting married a very distant possibility, if ever. My life is nowhere the same as this person’s, but I can relate to the grief. I want to be married, but I’m not and I’m not sure I ever will.

My mom has always been sympathetic when it comes to my brokenness concerning my singleness. She’s held me as I’ve cried bitter tears, and brought comfort when the struggle was just too real. I know she’s praying for me and my future husband every day, which means we are going to be the most prayed up power couple ever. I kid, but her support has been a strength to me and I trust her heart and her advice.

As she shared their conversation with me, she said something I doubt I will ever forget: Marriage is not our end goal in life.

At one time, that statement would have offended me. Instead, when she said those words I immediately felt empowered. She was right. Marriage wasn’t my end goal. I’ve been working toward a greater calling and purpose and that is to live wholeheartedly for Jesus and help expand the Kingdom of God. That is what I’m living and willing to die for.

The words I sang as a youth about having one passion, one magnificent obsession, one glorious ambition … to follow after God, has become more than a pretty song, they’re my daily confession.


Marriage is most certainly a godly desire and it’s not wrong to want to be married. I still want to be married … that hasn’t changed.

If anything, my vision has just come into clear focus. I’m running toward Jesus, and if along the way a man chooses to run alongside me with that same passion and purpose, then so be it. I welcome the companionship in the race, but he is not my prize. My prize will come at the end of the race when I stand before my God and King and as He hands me my crown, He says, “You’ve done well my good and faithful servant.”

Our desires or dreams, no matter what they may be, can very easily sneak in and become the thing we pursue while our relationship with the Lord becomes secondary. It has happened to me and I’ve had to repent time and time again. I’ve needed the Lord to refocus me and that’s what this conversation with my mom did — it clarified what, or rather Whom, I was pursuing. Not a husband … but my Lord.

About Holly Hrywnak

Holly is a 30ish-year-old writer who strives to share honestly and transparently in hopes that it will encourage others to be open about their own struggles and lessons learned. She's been accused of being sassy, which she finds to be an admirable attribute. Her favorite things include: making people laugh, chocolate, sweatshirt weather and authentic conversations over coffee. One day she hopes to find herself a bearded lumberjack to call her own.
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