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Confronting The Uncomfortable Moments In Your Singleness

As scary as it might be, there will be moments in your single season when you’re going to have to get uncomfortable. I was looking at my vision board recently and saw a quote about living outside of your comfort zone. It held me accountable to something that I knew deep down in my heart — something that I wanted and needed in order to become who God had created me to be.

As single adults, we have to get uncomfortable with many things at some point. Personally, facing confrontation is not comfortable for me at all. I don’t, however, want to stew in my feelings any longer than necessary. I have to take the necessary steps to deal appropriately yet honestly with what’s on my mind, whether good or bad.

For some of you, the uncomfortable thing may be taking the initiative to approach someone you’re interested in, breaking away from that toxic relationship, confronting a friend or finally realizing that you have a character flaw that needs work.

Here are three things that will help you break free from your comfort zone and embrace the life God has for you:

1. Getting uncomfortable in your singleness requires you to be brave and willing to learn in this season.

God will put you through some situations to show you exactly how you react when the discomfort comes. At that point, it’s up to you to retreat to your comfort zone (flesh-led) or face change head on (spirit-led) even if you don’t know what that looks like. As the maxim goes: If you want something different, you’ve got to be willing to do something different.

2. Don’t be afraid to face challenges in your personal growth.

Let’s say that you have an issue with patience and you realize it’s time to change behaviors associated with being impatient. God will allow your patience to be tested. He values patience for it’s one of the best characteristics that we as believers can enact; it’s also part of who He is. And if we are made in God’s image, then yes, we ought to love and be patient, longsuffering with one another as He is with us.

3. When in the midst of the test, remember His promises.

Or His Word concerning that area you’re working on. For me, it’s being totally open about how I feel. Sometimes I feel I’m holding back what I should say out of fear. But I remember Scriptures like 2 Timothy 1:7 that say God has given me power, love and a sound mind, not fear. The fear of potential rejection or hurt would keep my mouth shut or move around the topic. Lately I’ve been saying how I feel, although I’m better at writing it out! I rather address this personal issue now, in my singleness, than down the road when I’m married.

Remember the last time you realized you’d grown out of an old comfort zone? It was restricting and heavy, but now it seems as if you have more room to move and be who you are. It’s truly freeing to get out of the comfort zone. Nobody wants to believe it, but the uncomfortable feeling only lasts for a brief moment. When you get over that uncomfortable part, you’ll feel relieved and no longer burdened by what you were holding on to in the comfort zone.

What are some things you know you could put more effort into?

It’s time to get out of those comfort zones and be ready to embrace real change.

About Tatianah Green

Tatianah Green is a multimedia content creator and editor with a passion for writing. In 2012 she launched the blog {Black Love & Inspiration for Saved Singles} to encourage singles in faith and love. She is also a contributing writer for several other websites including Culture and God, Black and Married With Kids, and The Wire Hanger By Winnie. She recently published her first book entitled Journey to 30: A Single Woman's Guide to Living Unapologetically Without Deadlines. As she embraces her thirties, Tatianah works, plays and lives unapologetically for Christ in Chicago.
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