Wednesday, April 17, 2024
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How To Be The One Before You Find The One

Our Founder, Jill Monaco, had the honor of being interviewed on the wildly popular Right to R.E.A.L. Love Radio podcast. In this 3-part series, she talks with host Jay Mayo about what makes for healthy relationships.

Jay was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan. He says he’s a man with four loves in his life (and when he gets married there will be five!): God, movies, reading and podcasting. Monday through Saturday, Jay explores relationship questions, topics and issues that Christians face, struggle with and are afraid to talk about — singleness, faith, love, dating, marriage, purpose, celibacy, submission, business, church, leadership and life in the Kingdom of God. Here is a quote from Jay:

I wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for God’s love. Can I be completely honest with you? The truth is, you wouldn’t be reading this right now if it wasn’t for God. Not even that long ago (say about 3 years back), I was a lost sheep. I had strayed far away from God, but I thought life was all good. I had accomplished all the goals I was taught growing up that I needed to accomplish: graduate from high school, attend college, graduate from college and start working a job that pays really well. However, after doing all of that there was still a void in my life. Wanting to eliminate the void, I turned to God and the rest, as they say, is history! I rededicated my life to Jesus Christ, submitted and surrendered to His will and purpose for my life, and He has blessed me to be the steward of Right to R.E.A.L. Love.

To find out what we talk about on this podcast, scroll down and then come back and take a listen. We pray you are blessed.

Part 1: Why must we be The One before we find The One? (for singles) (20 min)

Part 2: Why do we attract certain people? (24 min)

Part 3: What do we need to develop in ourselves before we can be a good mate? (23 min)



  • What does it mean to be The One before finding The One?
  • Why focusing more on what you need/want in a spouse than what you are able to offer is a common pitfall.
  • The importance of knowing who we are before entering into relationships.
  • The value in being willing to change.
  • The reason we attract what we are.
  • The value in knowing who we are.
  • The danger of entering into relationships before getting the healing we need.
  • The importance of knowing our identity in Jesus Christ prior to getting married.
  • The importance of thinking about what we can offer rather than what we need.
  • Why there is nothing wrong with having a desire to get married.
  • Jay shares what in a woman will turn him off and his perspective on women asking men out.


  • Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? – 2 Corinthians 6:14 (ESV)
  • Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. – 2 Corinthians 5:17 (ESV)
  • But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. – Matthew 6:33 (NKJV)
  • The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’ – Genesis 2:18 (NIV)
  • For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. – Ephesians 6:12 (ESV)


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One last thing …. Producing this show does take resources. So if you would like to hear more conversations, please consider supporting this program of the ministry. Just click the button below and you’ll be led to a donate page. All gifts are tax deductible. Thanks so much!


About Jill Monaco

Jill Monaco is the publisher and editor-in-chief of Single Matters magazine and the creator of the program for singles "" As a speaker and author, she is known for captivating audiences with her high-energy, humorous approach to life’s serious issues. She also loves meeting with people one-on-one and helping them encounter God through Freedom Life Coaching. Her passion is to encourage people to pursue the presence of God because it is there that love is poured out upon them so it may be released through them. Her greatest desire is to love people well in the name of Jesus.
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