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Is Shame Your Secret Friend?

CC photo courtesy of woodleywonderworks via Flickr
CC photo courtesy of woodleywonderworks via Flickr

Shame is not a friend of mine. It causes slumped shoulders, sparse eye contact and a superficial connection. When released into relationships, it is a killer.

Reaching out becomes challenging, because shame is a mindset.

As I already mentioned, shame is not a friend of mine. I detest shame with a passion, because it results in distance. The distance occurs between man and God, man and man, and even man and himself.

I once had a dear friend who made a mistake. I am sad to say that we no longer talk because shame clouded understanding and placed a wedge between us. I still love this person and have forgiven them, but shame is unable to receive or believe anything that is not riddled with lies.

I used to slump about in shame. I put it on like a tailored coat and wore it to demonstrate remorse. In an effort to atone for my sins, I became more acquainted with shame than grace. The outcome was bleak. I could not receive love unless it was “earned.” This form of suffering not only hurt me, but it also hurt those whom I deeply loved. I thought that the cloak protected my relationships but soon realized that it only caused pain for everyone involved.

As it turns out, shame is not a good match for my human form. My body type is best suited for grace. While I still may try on shame at different moments, I have found that grace is best for every occasion. The more I freely receive, the more I can easily give it away. Grace makes relationships thrive.

Along with grace, restoration is always in style. It is never too late to make amends.

I encourage you to look at what you are wearing. If you are wearing anything besides grace, I recommend switching your wardrobe and throwing some things out. Shame, unforgiveness, bitterness, jealousy and similar things are not appealing to the eyes. Today is the day to forgive yourself, forgive others and make amends wherever needed. Restoration is a two-way process, but forgiveness is always a choice.

Shame is not a friend of mine, but it is a mindset that is in need of renewal.

Perhaps it is time to hit the reboot button and begin to actively fill your mind with the truth.

I have been intentionally feasting upon Romans 5 & 6. When I remind myself of the goodness of God, it perfectly positions my heart to receive grace and begin to walk out in the fullness that was intended for me as a daughter of the King. Grace is best suited for every human, and it is simply received by faith.

“Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory” (Romans 5:1-2).

About Courtney Werner

Courtney Werner graduated with a major in psychology. She is a self-taught artist from San Diego and is constantly looking for new creative outlets. In addition to painting, she also dabbles with interior design, composing music and writing. Check out her personal blog here:
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