Wednesday, December 11, 2019
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Is Love Possible A Second Time?

Photo courtesy of aussiegall via Flickr
Photo courtesy of aussiegall via Flickr

Jada’s story

Jada’s husband died suddenly and unexpectedly from a heart attack while crossing the finish line of a marathon. He had fulfilled a dream to complete a marathon, but it had cost him his life.

In that instant, Jada’s life as she knew it crumbled, and now she had the long, hard journey of raising her three children alone. Jada was consumed with grief, but after a number of years she felt the emotional heaviness lift as the possibility of love entered into her heart.

Was God preparing her for new love?

Was love possible a second time?

She had already been married to a wonderful man, and now she felt guilty about coming to God for a request of love fulfilled a second time.

Mary’s story

Mary’s world changed one day in an instant when she opened her laptop, only to see an email from a strange woman trying to contact her husband. She dropped the laptop on the floor when she discovered that the woman was actually her husband’s mistress!

Soon after he left the marriage, he declared that he had finally found the woman of his dreams, but thanked Mary for blessing him with three young sons. Mary’s heart was broken, but she picked up the broken pieces of her life and started healing.

Many years later, she felt a stirring inside around the possibility of finding love again.

Was God leading her toward love a second time?

She felt the pain and the excitement of the possibility of returning to love.

Second chances

Many people who have had marriages end, for whatever reason, can feel doubt about whether or not love is possible a second time.

If individuals are widows or widowers and have come from good marriages, they may wonder if a second marriage can be as good, or if they have somehow used up their quota of romantic happiness.

For Jada and Mary, love was definitely possible a second time around in life.

Jada met a widower who had also lost his wife tragically when she passed away from cancer.

Mary found love with a faithful man who would protect her heart.

Both Jada and Mary had to walk through a valley of fear of the unknown as they came to terms with not dragging their pasts into their futures. Love a second time around often has very little to do with the first relationship.

In a second life-partner relationship, things are different and possibly even better. A new partner is a unique dynamic, and if you are blending your life with someone who also has children, then you are working together to become a new family identity.

The past had a place in time with moments of wonder, but new love a second time around is the present and the future. When we try to compare the present with the past, we lose the wonder of the current moment and we deny our new partner the respect of who they are in their uniqueness.

We can more easily move into the possibility of love a second time when we come to peace around the past and realize that our destinies are unfolding according to God’s plans. The pain of the past will be used as strength, and the lessons we learn will prepare us for our future.

A possibility of love a second time is not just a hopeful dream, but a prayer fulfilled for many people.

About Cathy Patterson-Sterling

Cathy Patterson-Sterling is a Christian counselor with a counseling ministry called Real Life Tool Box. She is an author, speaker, wife, mother and friend. Through her counseling ministry, she offers more than 50 e-learning audio play courses to help people grow in faith and have their healthiest relationships. She is passionate about helping people find freedom from fear or other emotional strongholds that are holding them back from living out their greatest potential in God's plans for their lives.
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