Wednesday, November 20, 2019
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Single Matters Turns One!

Photo courtesy of Randy Pertiet via Flickr
Photo courtesy of Randy Pertiet via Flickr

Single Matters is one year old today!

As the master creator, God loves to birth new things. He calls us to create with Him, and then we get to take part in the joy of watching something new come forth.

Single Matters was created and birthed out of an encounter with God.

I was the least likely person to create Single Matters.

At the end of 2012 I had been unemployed for nine months, and was single and living alone with no job opportunities on the horizon. I admit panic was setting in as I realized my savings would be gone in a few months. I was keeping a positive attitude for family and friends but freaking out on the inside.

So I took two weeks away to fast from all people and media. No TV, Internet searching, social media, serving at church or time with friends. I needed to know God’s plan for my future.

You’d think after two weeks I would’ve had revelation from heaven. I was affirmed by God and had wonderful times of worship and prayer, but I still didn’t have a vision for the future. I certainly didn’t have a heart or vision for anything to do with singles.

I wasn’t active in any kind of singles ministry or group. It seemed to me those who attended were single for a reason.

I wasn’t friends with a lot of singles. I found many singles annoying because all they talked about was singleness or wanting to find marriage. Divorced people had bitterness oozing out of them, so I didn’t even want to be around them.

Yeah, I wasn’t the right person to lead a singles ministry.

Soon after that fast I was talking with one of my best girlfriends, who was about to hit 40 and still unmarried. She was discouraged by the kinds of online articles for singles. Articles that made people feel like contentment was something to achieve before marriage. Articles that only talked about how to get a date, keep a date or get rid of a bad date. You know the kind … that tell you why you are single or why it’s better to be single. I’m sure I don’t have to explain why those aren’t encouraging.

Slowly God was getting my attention.

I had a desire to be married. But I had a few other things that were demanding my energy. It makes sense that I was focusing on trying to find a job. I was also working with the Lord on healing from years of overworking, spiritual abuse from those in authority over me in past ministry roles, and other things that would take too long to get into. (I did write a series about what I learned on my blog.)

Singleness or marriage wasn’t on my radar.

But as God started showing me what it looked like to walk in freedom personally, I started to see why I didn’t want to be a part of a singles ministry, or talk to those who were bitter or single for a reason.

Brokenness.

God’s heart was breaking for those who were brokenhearted, and I was one of them.

Single or married. Wanting to be single or wanting to be married. God wants us to be emotionally healed and whole. Brokenness is why marriages don’t work out. That’s also why we hate our singleness. We are all looking for someone to heal what is hurting and broken.

As I got free I had a new compassion for singles..

And God showed me that He wanted me to birth Single Matters. 

Oh, I wish it were picture perfect, and I could say so I did it … here we are today!

I cried.

I told God I didn’t want to.

I reminded God I had experience managing marketing projects but I didn’t know how to set up or run an online publication, design a website, edit, etc.

God said, “Do you think I’d send out my daughter to a war zone and not provide the people to fight with her and the tools she needs to succeed?”

I responded, “Of course you wouldn’t. But how am I going to pay for any of this, and what do I live off of in the meantime?”

He said, “Jill, your provision is where you are going, not where you are.”

God gave me the faith I needed to walk out the pregnancy term of Single Matters before it was birthed.

You may or may not have children. But, all of you have birthed something—a business, an idea, a new way of life. Every day you choose to give life to something by your thoughts and actions. Whatever you focus on is influencing your decisions. If you focus on the negative things in your life, then that is what is going to grow. If you focus on the possibilities and opportunities, then that is what is going to grow. You have been given responsibility and power over your thought life, which in turn affects what you see manifest in your circumstances.

Jesus is our example. He said in John 5:19-20, “I only do what the Father is doing.” He knew the crucifixion was coming, but He didn’t focus on that. He was being hunted, tricked, rejected and persecuted, but He never focused on His circumstances.

Jesus birthed healing, freedom and salvation because He focused on what the Father was doing.

I started Single Matters because the Father directed my attention to the need to encourage singles no matter where they are in their walk of singleness. To help us all get healthy and whole so we are ready for a marriage that doesn’t end in divorce. He told me to “take back the land” from the world who has been lying to singles on how to live. And from the church who has missed ministering to singles. He told me that if we did this, the divorce rate would go down!

This is what the Father is doing. He showed me what He wanted to do, and Single Matters was birthed.

Birthed out of what I had: friends who had skills to build a website, design, edit, and write.

Birthed out of what I didn’t have: publishing skills, social media knowledge and donors who pay to keep it running.

See, this entire ministry is run by volunteers, because two full years after losing my job, I still don’t have a job. But this IS my job, and God finds a way to provide for all my needs so I can continue to do what He’s called me to do …

Love you.

The Father is doing something amazing in and through singles! And I’m blessed to be a part of this community.

We’ve seen the Single Matters community loving each other through Facebook and Twitter. Singles ask each other questions and receive encouragement as they comment on posts and interact through social media. We’ve seen new writers emerge and find their voice. We’ve seen volunteers join the team and make this publication happen week after week.

So today, I celebrate you. I celebrate all those people who make this publication happen every day.

I mostly thank God that He would take someone like me and ask me to partner with Him in what He is doing.

Would you leave a comment below and let us know what God has done in your life because of Single Matters? We’d love to hear from you!

About Jill Monaco

Jill Monaco is the publisher and editor-in-chief of Single Matters magazine and the creator of the program for singles "FromLookingToLoving.com." As a speaker and author, she is known for captivating audiences with her high-energy, humorous approach to life’s serious issues. She also loves meeting with people one-on-one and helping them encounter God through Freedom Life Coaching. Her passion is to encourage people to pursue the presence of God because it is there that love is poured out upon them so it may be released through them. Her greatest desire is to love people well in the name of Jesus.
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