One of the longest friendships I have had in my life began in the middle of 7th grade. I transferred from one school to another in January, right in the middle of the school year. Citronelle, Alabama was a new (and small) town for me — far from the likes of North Hollywood, California, where I lived the first 10 years of my life. As a “city boy” outsider, let’s just say I wasn’t welcomed by all.
Behind me in my math class sat Joe Jackson. Joe and I hit it off right away in class with our love of music — he was a drummer and I was a singer. We also shared admiration for the same types of humor and movies. We are still friends to this very day. We’ve had ups and we have had downs, but it’s a strong friendship that has lasted. If this friendship were to end, I would be terribly saddened.
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” — Proverbs 17:17
The emotions you have when losing a friend are not based on the length of the friendship but the strength of the friendship. Friendship is a choice. We choose who we want to be friends with or not. It’s also a choice to “end” a friendship. Sometimes there will be very good reasons to end a friendship, like toxicity.
So what happens when someone ends a friendship without saying a word? For some reason, they decline to tell you why. They just disappear. There was a lack of communication while in the friendship and an apparent lack of communication while ending it. When this happens, it can leave someone confused, hurt and thinking. What did I do wrong?
When someone ends a friendship without saying a word, it’s not you … it’s them.
When reading most materials on relationships, you’ll find that communication is key. Every relationship needs constant communication. Not just married or dating people … friends too. So if someone ends a friendship without saying a word, there is something that is keeping them from communicating with you the reasons for the sudden disappearance. You cannot control them but you can pray for them. Grieve if you must and keep the door open if you desire to have that friendship in the future.
“Do not be deceived. Bad company ruins good morals.” — 1 Corinthians 15:33
Make today the day you communicate with some friends. Even go as far as making a pact with yourself to reach out to 3 friends each day by phone call, letter, or even a text and let them know you appreciate them. Tell them how glad you are to have them in your life and what their friendship means. You never know when it might end.
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