What To Do While You Are Waiting For Your Mate

You’re waiting for “the one,” but what do you do in the meantime? What else can singles do to bide their time while they wait? Every situation and relationship is different, but this is my story.

Rather than pining for “the one,” I began doing a few things that helped me in the waiting.

1. Make a list.

This may sound cliché, but making a list helps you focus your prayers toward your future spouse. Creating a list is a practical step in looking forward to your life together. Think proactively. What are you looking for in a spouse? From your past dating experiences, what did you like and not like about that person? Do you want someone tall? Short? Chubby? Sweet? Creative? Funny? Serious? Hard-working? City lover? Be specific and pray in that direction.

Don’t underestimate the power in writing things down. Even Habakkuk says, “Write the vision, and make it plain.” Pull the dreamy list for your spouse out of your heart and write it down in black and white.

2. Start a journal.

So much of dating advice revolves around what not to do. Starting a journal is a great thing to do. You’ve made a list of what you’re praying for in a future spouse, but sometimes you just want to know who they are. So, journal it. When I was in the waiting period, I wrote entries to my future husband. I journaled thoughts about what our lives would look like together and wondered if we had already met. I journaled my thoughts about children and family and growing old together. I journaled how I was saving myself for him and waiting until it was time for us to be together.

Whether or not you eventually share your thoughts, journaling to your future spouse creates a healthy space for you to share your emotions without scaring anyone off in the process.

3. Do the work — behind you and in front of you.

Is there anything behind you that is dragging you down? Whether it’s past sin or believing marriage will solve your problems, seek God’s help in removing any baggage. In your singleness, pray that you are using the time wisely, getting yourself into an emotionally and spiritually healthy place to be ready for marriage. Pray and ask God what part of your heart needs to be healed to enter marriage wholeheartedly. Marriage is no joke and not for the faint of heart. But when done well, it can be the most rewarding endeavor in life.

What has God put in front of you right now? In what work are you co-laboring with Him at the moment? Ask Him if there is a good work that needs to be done that you can only do while you’re single. Do the work, and do it well. Ephesians 2:10 says He has good work for us to do. Be faithful in the moment; don’t wait until you’re married to be faithful.

I first met my husband when we were counselors together at a kids’ camp in South Haven, Michigan. I hadn’t dated in a while and was just looking for friends who were chasing after Jesus. I made lifelong friends that summer and didn’t begin dating my future husband until the following summer. We were best friends for a long time before we dated. And two decades later, we’re still best friends.

Waiting is never wasted. It’s not sitting idly by, hoping life happens. Waiting can be arduous yet proactive. Don’t lose heart in the waiting, dear friend. Don’t grow weary in doing good, but know that God has your best interest at heart.