You want more than anything for your relationship to work. You are willing to overlook quirks and even a little bit of weirdness because most of your Significant Other’s life is pretty much put together … most of the time. But there are those pesky red flags that keep popping up as you progress to deeper levels. When is it too much? Do you know when to walk away? Here are some signs that it is time to part ways before it’s too late:
1. Control and Manipulation
If your Significant Other (SO) is in the habit of telling you what to do, when to do it, and how to do it, they are controlling you. If your SO makes you feel a certain way for not doing what he/she wants you to do, they are manipulating you. Neither one of those is acceptable behavior. A healthy relationship requires both parties to have equal say and show equal deference to each other. A controlling person will not change easily, so get out while you can. This is a BIG red flag.
Someone who cannot be honest with you is not the person you want as your closest confidant. Lying is not an acceptable character trait and it will be impossible to build a relationship with someone who is dishonest — about anything. Run away. Now.
If your SO is more into herself/himself than you, hit the road, Jack. A person who thinks of herself/himself most of the time has no room for an open, vulnerable relationship. They are not capable of adulting. Leave the diaper bag and head for the hills.
Having an occasional bad day is normal. Having a chronically bad day every day is just negative. If your SO has nothing good to say, take note. Negativity is a habit not easily broken; and when it goes unchecked, it becomes a stronghold in a person’s life. Speaking negative things all the time breeds a negative reality. Don’t get sucked into the vortex! Reverse engines and bring the ship about, Lieutenant!
A person who mistreats you — whether emotionally or physically — is not worthy of you. There is never, NEVER a good reason for someone to harm you. You do not deserve to be talked down to, to be “put in your place” or to be physically hurt by anyone. Ever. If your SO has abused you, report him/her to the police, change your phone number and the locks on your doors. Drop them right now and don’t look back.
Any one of these signs is enough to call it quits with a potential spouse, but if you are dating someone who exhibits more than one of these things, you should take heed and make some swift changes so that you don’t become a relationship casualty.
(If you see any of these traits in yourself, see a counselor as soon as possible. These are serious issues and need to be treated seriously by someone who can give you professional help.)
What other traits would you add to this list? Have you ever walked away from a relationship because of any of these things?