Tuesday, April 16, 2024
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A Single Woman’s Plea To Married Men

CC photo courtesy of State Farm via Flickr
CC photo courtesy of State Farm via Flickr

Recently, a girlfriend of mine posted the following status on Facebook:

It’s a sad day when your wedding ring no longer fits. It becomes a better day when your husband proposes again with a cheapo ring from Target.

She and her husband are expecting their first child soon and, due to the lovely woes of pregnancy, her ring no longer fits. Her husband’s sweet gesture earned him many accolades and “likes” on Facebook that day. His natural expression of love for his wife got me thinking about just how important that tiny symbol of love really is.

While reading at a local coffee shop, I overheard a conversation between two overtly expressive men. The conversation went something like this:

Single Guy #1: “Wedding rings are stupid. I don’t understand why girls expect you to spend so much money on some stupid symbol of love. Why should I have to fork out all the cash?”

Married Guy #2: “I know! My wife doesn’t even wear her ring. She always complains about her finger being swollen. I told her, “If you don’t wear yours, then I’m not going to wear mine!”

At first, their conversation entertained me. I laughed a little, wondering about the other topics men vent to each other about. But the laughter quickly faded as I soaked in what Married Guy #2 said. Both he and his wife had made the choice to forgo wearing a simple piece of jewelry that acknowledges to the rest of the population that they are spoken for.

This piece of jewelry, while modest in size, represents something so grand in significance.

As a single girl, I must confess when I see a man I find attractive, my eyes immediately stray from his face to the ring finger of his left hand. At the point of determining whether or not he’s married, my mind will do one of two things: give myself permission to find him attractive, or mark him off the list of potential suitors. You see, as a woman who struggles with lust, one of the ways I guard my heart is to mentally reduce the pool of men who may tempt me by checking to see if they are “off the market.”

This message is to married men: Unbeknownst to you, that small symbol of love you wear is guarding my heart as a single woman and your heart as a married man. Let me explain. When I see you across the room, I have to take my thoughts captive and make sure I don’t allow the enemy to grasp control. The moment I see your wedding ring, I no longer wonder if you have seen me and also find me attractive. The ring minimizes the opportunities the enemy has to tempt me.

Your ring also serves to guard you from temptation. By wearing your ring, you are creating fewer opportunities for women to assume you are available and make themselves available to you. When a woman sees your ring, the chances of you being approached by her decrease greatly. She is less likely to strike up a conversation with you or make flirtatious eye contact across the room, trying to get your attention.

Married men, please, listen to the plea of this single woman and wear your ring.

About Brandy Coty

Brandy Coty is a single, 30-year-old blogger turned budding author who resides in Dallas, Texas. After spending time teaching English in South Korea, she has returned to America and is working on writing her first book. As a social worker, she has a passion for serving others and plugging into the community. Brandy has a heart for other single women and hopes to encourage and inspire readers by sharing the lessons the Lord is teaching her.
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