Are You Desperate?

Recently, as I was meeting with another favorite client (can you tell I have many?), I had another revelation for the single people of the world. This revelation can actually be applied to many situations and circumstances, but is very fitting when applied to relationships.

The chat I was having with this client centered on a recent relationship prospect and the varied perspectives given by friends about the potential guy. Initially, this prospect had pursued her with enthusiasm, but gradually he became very distant and the pursuit became non-existent. The friends were encouraging her to stick with it and stay engaged in the supposed “relationship.”

She expressed that she didn’t want to make this “something” work, but preferred to wait for the right situation. As she spoke, the following words came to mind: “Desperation leads to compromise.” I was surprised by how deeply those words resonated within me.

I believe the friends had her best interests at heart, but she didn’t feel desperate to make something happen. Because of this, she was less likely to accept the mediocre and lackadaisical behavior he exhibited.

Practicing the principle of not compromising is so important during the season of dating. Many become fixated on meeting someone and settling down, but fail to see that over time desperation becomes a normal part of life. Out of this desperation they begin to “settle” for things that initially wouldn’t have been acceptable in their dating relationships. I have seen this settling eventually lead into acceptance of any and all types of behavior.

Take this principle and apply it to the loss of a job. When my husband was downsized from his executive level job several years ago, he was at first only willing to consider positions of similar compensation and responsibilities. Slowly, his standards lowered to the point that he was willing to wait tables just to have a job — something to do — but it never came to that. Strategic doors opened that ultimately led over the course of a year to a good job with a good company closer to home.

It can be easy to become desperate and ultimately accept something that may have been outside the standards and scope of what was initially pursued. This can also apply to friendships, situations and environments. We could become so desperate to maintain any relationship that we are willing to compromise our standards to maintain it.

Not giving into desperation is a principle that can be globally applied and that all people can heed, including myself. I have been guilty of compromising in situations and allowing desperation to take over. I am here to say that this isn’t God’s best. It isn’t His intent for us to settle or change our standards to meet the situation or desperation that we feel. It is our responsibility to constantly be listening and paying attention to the standards set before us as our own by the Holy Spirit.

Many people may want to impose their standards upon you; don’t let that happen. Stay strong, remain true to the standards God has for you and avoid all potential for compromise. Hang in there. Regardless if it is a relationship, job or other situation, the standards you have are there for a reason. You are worth waiting for the best instead of settling for the now.

*Originally appeared on Cassie Reid Counseling