Letter From An Orphan

Orphan- a word I never really thought of much until now. I mean, I knew what it meant and I knew that anyone with that title tainting their life’s resume had some tragedy recorded in their history. Being a believer in God I also believed that we could never really be orphans because somewhere in the Bible God inspired someone to write the words, ‘if your mother and father leave you then I will take you up’ (Psalm 27vs10). I mean such passages are all over the Bible and they all assure you of a Father in heaven who has a life expectancy that boasts of eternity and a history that goes back to a time where time was not called time and it was not conceived yet.

Well, this was all easy to grasp, this was until I was thrown into the midst of the situation and no, this was no rehearsal it’s all real to me now.

It is so easy to assume. All of us are given the chance to see the world in all its gory glory every day and as we pass by different people we notice their different experiences. Now, realize this- noticing isn’t the same as knowing and most of the time we have no idea what others go through. Even though we try as much as possible to simulate the feeling we can never understand an experience unless we have actually gone through it. I could never understand what being an orphan was because I had never been through it and because for some reason I had this idea that I’d never be one, at least not so young.

My dad who died about last year was an orphan, he lost both parents but this happened when he was already a father of two. My mum was also an orphan and this happened in her 40’s. All her sisters are orphans. It’s a heavy word to say but it is a reality, just one I never saw myself in. In less than twelve months my mum was taken by sickness, the same way my dad was, and grandma and I was not on any of their bed-sides. My gran was taken when I was on my way to see her and both my mum and dad left this earth after I came to see them- no farewell no further instruction, my dad didn’t even disclose where the will was (if there was one) so you can imagine the drama and confusion.

So yes, now I am that word, as hard as it is to admit. It’s no big deal some people think but they have no idea. I lost both parents in less than a year, experienced betrayal after that, lost my job, moved to a foreign country with nothing, then got mugged at gun-point. Now, I live with a hurt I don’t understand, I can’t seem to express it. My spiritual life isn’t what it used to be anymore and I am struggling to get up. I can’t walk without looking over my shoulder and I can’t understand why I feel so lonely!

Good and bad happens to all, like it says somewhere in the Bible that the Lord causes it to rain on the good as well as the wicked. It’s a war out there, not for mineral resource or land, the war is for the territory that is our hearts. Your heart is the battle field and this earth is the country. Calamity happens and will continue to happen but only the soldiers who obey their commander will make it. Who is your commander? You best believe that there is no middle ground in this war.

I’ve learnt it is okay to grieve; Isaac did for his mother, Jacob for his ‘thought to be dead’ son, Jesus for His people. Mourning death is what makes us human. Singleness might be described by having no life partner but it can so easily be characterized by having no parents, no friends and no God. Singleness is a state determined by choice, Satan will take and if you choose to remain with nothing then that is how it will be. When God allows something to leave the playing field of your life there are always substitutes waiting to be employed on the bench. God allows you some management of your life so you have to send those substitutes to play a role in the match that is your life.

No substitute is lesser than the other in this game, they all have an important impact to play in the fabric of your existence. When Lionel Messi is on the bench that does not mean he is inferior, it only means that his part to play in the game has not come.

You have a choice, will you replace what has been taken from you with what God has given you to fill in the emptiness or will you stand alone like the number one and choose to be single?

About the author

I am a dreamer, an architect when asleep. My dreams are only the blank canvas where I love to draw blue-prints on. When I wake up I make it my mission to turn the plan into a reality. Many of us are hindered from progressing because we allow the excuse of lack to be an Everest before us. I believe with the right mindset in all things we like the many accomplished climbers may also share glory at the top. I write and speak from inspiration and my work can be random by nature. Consider me having the qualities of wine, I mature with time. I blog at theheartofi.wordpress.com