I’m 30 and have never been married. I’ve often asked myself how I could possibly be single. Friends have asked, too. And people at church. And those I meet on the street.
It’s this phenomenon. I get it.
I mean, I’m hilarious, fun to be around and can carry an interesting conversation for longer than five minutes. I’ve got gorgeous blonde locks and light eyes. I can be kind … most of the time. Unless, of course, you’re driving under the speed limit in the passing lane. I love helping people out, from washing your dishes to checking on your cats while you’re on vacation. I’m a great catch, but here I am, still single.
I know I’m not alone in this. Come on. Admit it. You’ve asked yourself the same question. “Why, God, why?!”
I wish I had some answers. Something concrete that I could point to and say “Ya, that’s exactly why I’m single.” Anything that could bring some understanding to this season in my life. Hearing “When it’s God’s timing, then he’ll come,” just isn’t cutting it most days.
So I decided to start making a list of reasons that could possibly explain why I’m single. They range in seriousness, from the completely irrational to you-might-just-be-on-to-something. I mostly keep the list (and keep adding to it) to bring humor to something that hasn’t always been easy to accept.
Here’s a peek look at my “Holly is single because …” list:
#1: The only time I make my bed is after I clean my sheets. When I was in Bible school, our rooms were inspected every day, and we’d get demerits if our beds weren’t made. I begrudgingly made my bed daily, but that’s only because I’m a rule follower. Living alone means I make the rules. Guess which one hasn’t made the list?
#2: I’m a loud laugher. In the movies, the girls with boyfriends always seem to have stifled giggles. That’s not me, guys. If it’s funny, I’m gonna laugh loudly and possibly a few seconds longer than everyone else. On occasion, I’ve also been known to snort.
#3: I still get pimples. I think it’s my body’s sick attempt at a joke. They are reminders that no matter how old I get, I can still have the face of a teenager going through puberty.
#4: I ask questions during movies. I know this is the first time you’ve seen this film, but I’m looking for you to bring me some comfort. Do you think they’re going to die?! My friends have been known to ask me numerous times throughout a movie, “Are you doing okay?” It may have something to do with my seat shifting and eye covering.
#5: I don’t wear gloves when I clean the toilet. One of my friends is completely grossed out by this fact. He’s borderline germaphobic, but I still wonder if other guys are just as disgusted. Gloves feel like unnecessary hindrances when I’m working. I also don’t wear gloves when I weed the garden or filet a fish. It’s not like I don’t wash my hands afterwards.
#6: I answer the “How are you?” question honestly. If I’m crabby because I haven’t seen my best friend in a week, you’re going to hear about it. If I’m super excited about the fact that there wasn’t a line in the Dunkin’ Donuts drive-through that morning, you’re going to hear about it. Don’t ask me unless you really want to know.
The thing is, I really don’t know why you or I are single. All I know is that you’re awesome just the way you are, and you don’t need to change to be considered “dateable.” So what if you’ve got three cats and you include them in your Christmas card photo? Keep being you! One day, somebody will appreciate all the quirks and loveliness that make you up. I’m certain they’ll have just as many quirks of their own for you to love and accept.
What kinds of things make it on to your “Single Because…” list? Share them with me!