Mis-Education Of Single Men

The prevailing message to men when it comes to relationships and career is basically: “First, get your business, your money and your assets. Then, find someone to settle down with.” This is the messaging I was surrounded by growing up. I was even told by men who I looked up to and who were in marriages, that the blueprint to manhood was first to get “yours” then find someone to share “yours” with.

Guess what? They were wrong.

If I had only one sentence to share with every man who is single, it would simply be: Fellas, find your queen, and your kingdom won’t be far behind.

Having a strong partner makes dreams more attainable, including in your career.

I was married in my early twenties. At that time I didn’t have any peers who had tied the knot and, therefore, I turned into the “married guy” in my crew – the one with all the limitations, or more fondly referred to as the ball-and-chain-around-his-ankle guy. At the time they laughed, but now, silence.

When I look back, specifically at my career, I’m sure that I and many others played an important role in making things happen, but I promise you that no achievement would have been possible without my wife.

She gave me emotional support – Yup, fellas, we need that too.

She gave me extra brainpower – Every business idea developed went through her. Who better to help with strategy than the person who truly knows my strengths and weaknesses?

She gave me financial capital – Yes, the lifeblood of every business. We pooled our money together and made the dream work.

Sheryl Sandberg was spot on when she said: “I truly believe that the single most important career decision … is whether we will have a life partner and who that partner is.”

Bottom line, your marriage partner is your most important business partner. So why go most of your career without one, men?

About the author

In the last three years, Paul Carrick Brunson (also known as The Modern Day Hitch) has become internationally recognized as one of the most successful matchmakers and relationship coaches. As a pioneering matchmaker, Paul has served more than 400 clients directly, and collectively through live events and social media, matched more than 3,000 people on dates. In 2012, he received an NAACP Image Award nomination for his first book titled, It’s Complicated (But It Doesn’t Have to Be): A Modern Guide to Finding and Keeping Love, which became a bestseller in four months. Paul is a Dell Inspire 100 honoree and was recognized by iDate as a nominee for Best Matchmaker and Best Relationship Coach of the Year. Oprah Winfrey notes that, “Paul is much more than a matchmaker; he’s a life coach.” He has appeared on two shows on the Oprah Winfrey Network: Lovetown, USA and SoulPancake. Paul is happily married to his wife, Jill, and they live in the District of Columbia with their 2-year-old son, Kingston.