Tuesday, November 12, 2019
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Saying Goodbye To Online Dating

Photo courtesy of Mik Salac via Flickr
Photo courtesy of Mik Salac via Flickr

In the last year, I’ve been a member of the big three dating sites at one time or another: Christian Mingle, eHarmony, Match.com.

I get those notifications in my inbox saying, “Sign up in the next 72 hours to save 60% and find the love of your life.” Okay, I added the last part for dramatic effect, but you get the point. I’m saving money; why not sign up?

Two weeks ago my membership ended with one of the above-mentioned sites. A few days later the email notification came again. I could save money and find love. Something felt different this time. Something I’m still trying to process.

Instead of opening the email, as enticing as it was, I sent it to the trash and went on about my day.

I’ve decided to give online dating a break. Not because anyone did anything wrong. Not because it doesn’t work. It’s just where I’m at in this season of my life.

For the first time in a long time, I feel content with where I’m at. I’m not looking at married couples with jealousy, wishing I had what they had. I’m not sitting in my church, which is 90 percent filled with married couples with families, dreading every moment of hearing my pastor talk about marriage, again.

Where God and I are at in this time of my life is good. I’m content being single. I’m okay without a boyfriend or spouse. I’m okay without seeking a relationship.

Don’t misunderstand me. Is the desire still there? Yes. But my desire to know God more intimately outweighs the other.

I still pray for a spouse. I still dream of being married. But in the process of those things, I’m growing in my relationship with God in exciting new ways. I’m asking Him to guide my every step, and that includes dating.

Who knows. Maybe with my focus shifting, the “man of my dreams” will come out of nowhere. Maybe I’ll meet him at church, the gym or the office down the hall. Or maybe I’ll be introduced to him through a computer screen when I feel led to pursue online dating again.

Several months ago my grandma asked me, “Will I live long enough to see you get married?” No pressure there! I kept going back to that question, then asking myself, Is something wrong with me? I’m 30. I should probably be married by now.

Then I reminded myself I’m only 30. I’ve got a great life ahead of me, and if marriage doesn’t come until I’m 40, so be it.

Paul said in Philippians 4:12, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”

I’m sharing in God’s secret and learning to be content in all things, including my relationships.

Raise your glass with me and let’s make a toast. Here’s to contentment.

About Sundi Jo

Sundi Jo is a speaker, author, thought-provoking leader, and loser of 145 lbs.
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