Secret To A Great Relationship Part 5: Be Real And Transparent

This is the fifth of an 8-part series from Jimmy Evans at MarriageToday from his book, Our Secret Paradise: Seven Steps for Building a Secure and Satisfying Marriage. This series focuses on the 5th secret—Transparency. Even before marriage, these keys will help you become the kind of person you want to date and the kind of person to look for in a potential mate.

In John 15:15, Jesus said, “No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.”

The reality behind what Jesus said is a secret to no one: A best friend is someone with whom you don’t have to perform. A best friend is real and transparent, and gives you that same right. It’s exhausting to be with a person for whom you always have to be “on.” It keeps you on edge, and you can’t relax to be who you truly are. You think, If I say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing, he (she) is going to reject me.

With a best friend, you can be real. I’m not talking about being crude or lazy. Your friends, especially your spouse — your very best friend — deserve your best. But he or she is also the one around whom you can be yourself. Jesus said, “I’m calling you my friends. I’m telling you everything the Father told me. I’m opening My heart to you and I’m going to let you be My friends.”

I can say anything to Karen, and she can say anything to me. We talk about everything. Your best friend is the person to whom you run when you need to talk. This is the person you pick up the phone to call the moment you receive significant news or experience a life-changing event. If you were standing by yourself and had just received notice on your cell phone that you had won the grand prize in a sweepstakes, the first number you would ring would be your best friend’s. That’s also the first number you would call if you had just received a doctor’s report that you had a terminal illness. Your best friend is your immediate confidant of the information that you possess.

Does what I’ve just said describe the spirit of your relationship with your wife or  your husband? Does your relationship give off a vibe that says, “You can be yourself around me; you can open your heart to me; I’m the safest place”?

Be sure to read the rest of the series.