Tall, dark and handsome. If there was a way for women to create their perfect match, I bet the majority would throw these three adjectives in the mix. Women swoon over tall, dark and handsome celebrities, they visualize what the tall, dark and handsome fictional characters in their latest romance novel really looks like, and they dream about the tall, dark and handsome man they expectantly long for.
For some women, dark may not be on the list that qualifies their dream man, while others may be willing to trade handsome for funny, intelligent or great personality. But for most women, tall (read taller than me) is usually always on the list.
You may have read my recent article about weight being an instant disqualifier for most people, but it wasn’t until I had a conversation with a male friend (who isn’t in that 6-foot-tall or taller group) that I realized this same bias is used to rule out great men from the pool of potential suitors, just because of their height.
Who was responsible for making these rules of attraction anyway? I mean, just because a guy is tall doesn’t mean he will make a great husband. I know a lot of tall guys who aren’t so great.
As curiosity got the best of me, I decided to find the average height of men in the world. Of the 125 countries with height for men listed on Wikipedia, only six countries recorded an average height of 6 feet or taller for the men in their country. Furthermore, the average height of men in the United States is 5 feet 9 ½ inches, while the average height of a woman in the United States is 5 ft. 4 in. So if the majority of men across the world don’t even meet this standard, where did this idea that a man has to be a minimum of 6 feet tall come from?
Ladies, I think we are missing out on some incredible men when we put this limitation on our requests to the Lord. I know some wonderful men who are continually discriminated against because of something beyond their control. He can’t control his height; that is the way God made him. Would you want a man to discriminate against you because of something beyond your control? I encourage you to prayerfully consider if you have put a limitation on the Lord regarding your future spouse—a limitation that He may not think is a disqualifier.
Let’s look at some examples of men chosen by God regardless of height or appearance.
Climbing To Truth
Luke 19 tells us that Zaccheus was a man of short stature. We don’t know much about him, just that he climbed a sycamore tree because “he sought to see who Jesus was.” Jesus calls out to Zaccheus and tells him to come down from the tree because He needs to stay at Zaccheus’ house. Zaccheus’ encounter with Jesus results in him getting saved, giving half of his riches to the poor and paying back his debts. Of all the information we can glean from Luke 19, the most important piece of information we need to know about Zaccheus was that Jesus chose him. Jesus could have stayed with anyone—I’m sure there was a multitude of people who would have opened their home to Him—but Jesus sought out Zaccheus, He wanted people to know Zaccheus was important, despite what they may have thought of him.
The Unexpected Choice
After Saul’s disobedience to the Lord, God speaks to Samuel and tells him He regrets choosing Saul as king and reports a new king shall be appointed. God instructs Samuel to tell Saul and then go to meet Jesse and his sons to select the next king. Samuel encounters Eliab and says “Surely the Lord’s anointed is before Him!” and God responds, saying, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).
If God said to ignore man’s appearance and physical stature but to look at his heart in the selection process for a king, don’t you think we should consider that same advice in the selection process for a husband?
Small but Powerful
Standing at a physical height of 3 feet 3 inches tall, Nick Vujicic is probably one of the most verbally powerful men I know. His story is amazing. Born without any limbs, Nick struggled mentally, emotionally and physically as he fought through how to live with his disability. Upon accepting his disability and learning to use it to glorify God, Nick created the Life Without Limbs ministry. He travels the world sharing his story and the gospel, and lives are being changed. Now happily married with a son, Nick transparently shares these words about how he felt as a single person:
“I definitely had doubts that I would ever get married, that I would ever meet anybody who would love me and spend the rest of their life with me, because I’m Prince Charming with a couple bits and pieces missing.”
I don’t know about you, ladies, but I want a mate who exhibits incredible spiritual, mental and emotional strength. When life throws battles our way and we are in the middle of a war zone, those three things will be far more important than how tall the man is.