Ladies, have you ever sat down to make a list of the attributes you are looking for in a husband?
I used to think this was the stupidest thing I’d ever heard. Then I’d decided to pull the ginormous plank out of my eye and be open-minded to the idea of making a list of the things I’d love to have in a husband.
I have a list of wants, then I have a list of non-negotiables.
My wants? I’d love a truck-driving, country-music-listening man who is funny. I’m not particular about hair or eye color, but taller than me would be ideal. I’d like him to love the Chicago Cubs, which probably won’t happen, but he at least has to let me like them. He isn’t obsessed with sports. He enjoys grocery shopping. (Maybe I should put that under a non-negotiable?) Oh … and if he likes to cook, that would be great, too.
My non-negotiables? He must love Jesus. He has to give me grace for my gritty past. He supports my desire to speak, write and minister to others. He walks in integrity. He is gentle and understanding in my struggles. He is a spiritual leader who draws me near to the desire of walking in submission to his leadership.
My want list is great, but if I meet a man who drives a Toyota Camry, I’ll be just fine with that as long as the non-negotiables are intact (unless he drives a Ford; then marriage counseling may be necessary). If he loves the St. Louis Cardinals and feels the need to decorate our basement in Red Bird décor, I can let it slide, as long as he kisses me goodnight and lets me know he loves me for who God made me to be.
I struggle with a fear of men—it’s no secret. However, I’m so much better than I used to be. The fact that I’m willing to publicly talk about my desire for a husband proves Jesus can set us free from ALL our fears.
I was driving a few weeks ago and heard this song on the radio. I was crying. I sent an audio message to myself with the lyrics so I could look it up later. When I got home, I listened to it at least 10 times.
We have a list. We have a desire to be married. As long as we make the non-negotiable list a priority, I have a feeling God will give us at least a few of the desires in our wants list.
It’s weird for me to admit this out loud, but I find myself going back and forth from being patient to wanting to be married. Funny since just a few months ago I talked about taking a break from online dating because I’m content.
I’m learning to hurry up and wait. I’m okay with that, because I won’t settle on my non-negotiable list. I could have been married last year if that were the case, but when I realized his priorities weren’t in line and he loved me more than Jesus, I got out my list and realized #1 was intact.
So I’ll wait. I’ll be patient. Then perhaps a little impatient. Then I’ll be patient again. God knows the desires of my heart, and I look forward to watching Him fulfill them.
Here’s to a Jesus loving, truck-driving, country-music-listening, funny, big-hearted, gentle, graceful, leading, loving man.
What’s on your list?