Recently, I did something I said I’d never do again. I signed up for a free trial on a Christian dating website.
In a moment of weakness, I clicked “sign-up” and spent the next hour crafting the most honest profile I could. I used my most recent pictures and did my best to represent my personality correctly—one part sass, one part chocolate and one part Bible school grad. I kid … kinda.
Crafting an online dating profile is difficult to say the least. You want to be transparent, but not so transparent that it scares people away. You want to be funny, but not look like you’re trying too hard. And most of all, you want to talk about Jesus, God and the Bible a lot—making sure to cite specific verses. Denomination usually determines what version you’ll cite from. The more conservative choose King James while those with hipster leanings prefer the Message.
I thought I did everything right. I initiated contact by sending thoughtful, short messages letting the guy know I connected to something he said in his profile and that I’d like to hear more. I lost count of how many profiles I read through, but it’s safe to say hundreds. Even though I got zero responses, which I can only laugh about, I did learn a few things in my search.
Guys, there’s a few things I want you to know that may help you when crafting your own dating profile.
Smile in your pictures.
I’m not sure if guys think that a serious, straight face is sexy or sultry, but it is neither. A smile makes you look friendly and welcoming and not like you might stash me in your trunk at the end of our date. Also, please take off the sunglasses. You’re inside. Sunglasses are unnecessary. Plus, we can see your phone and hand in the reflection and that’s just silly.
Do not use your profile to school me on the necessity of submission.
We all know the Bible talks about wives submitting to husbands and I am in no way trying to short-cut that command. There is a huge possibility, though, if you’re spending paragraphs telling me how important submission is that I’m going to conclude that you have a major control issue. And I might be right. If you are more concerned with finding a woman who will submit and less concerned about how you are supposed to love the woman like Jesus loves the Church, then there’s a problem. A problem that would take its own article to address.
We know you want a Proverbs 31 woman.
I can assure you, as Christian women we are very aware of your desire for a woman like that described in Proverbs 31. Guess what? More than anything we want to be that woman. We want to be up before dawn and up until all hours of the night serving our families—making crafts to sell on Etsy and cooking meals from what we’ve grown in our garden out back. That sounds great! Real talk—that’s probably not gonna happen. We are unique women with gifts, talents and skills, and many of us like naps. We’d most likely choose pizza delivery given the option because it means we can use paper plates.
By this point, all the guys might be thinking, No wonder Holly is single. You might be right, but I did learn my own very valuable lesson. There is no perfect profile and there is no perfect person. If that’s your hope, you’ll have a better chance at finding a wild unicorn.
Be willing to get to know an imperfect person. You never know, you may find they complement you perfectly.