“If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying” is something someone told me shortly after I joined the military. They weren’t saying that I should actually cheat. They saw me spinning my wheels with little to show for it and tried to teach me a lesson in productivity. They were saying, if you’re not talking to people who have successfully done what you’re trying to do … what ARE you doing? Why would you try to figure something out on your own if you can ask someone who’s already done it to show you how to do it?
It’s so true. Some lessons you have to learn yourself. Others lessons you can learn just as well if someone who is wise shows you the way. Someone like the older Titus 2 women who were exhorted to teach younger women. Although the passage talks about teaching younger women to be wives, in general I know there’s a benefit to having mentors who generously share life wisdom and lessons. So often we think young adults or adolescents won’t listen, but the truth is that, if you have a relationship with that young person, they will. If they want to be where you are in 5, 10 or even 20 years, they will not only listen, they will mimic you.
As a single woman, I wish I had known more Titus 2 women in my late teens and early 20s whom I could have patterned myself after. Now that I’m moving out of my young adult years and have never been married, I find myself looking more and more to my older and sometimes younger but wiser friends who openly share godly wisdom about dating, love, sex, romance and marriage. And I look to younger ones too who have marked success in those areas of life. Life is short, time is a valuable commodity that can’t be replaced, and if I’m going to succeed in this area of my life God’s way, I have to seek godly counsel. My team of Titus 2 women keep me on track, out of trouble, and out of harm’s way!
If you want a Titus 2 woman to mentor you, here are a few ways you can find a mentor:
Start with your local church.
If your church is a place that encourages fellowship with members and newcomers, you might be able to find a group setting where older women mentor younger women. If your church doesn’t have that type of setting, start by just trying to meet other members. But if you don’t make a special connection that way, you can ask your church’s leadership if they have suggestions.
Reconnect with an older woman who knew you well growing up.
She already knows you, but may just need to get to know how you’ve changed since the last time you connected. She may also know other women who would be a good match for you as a mentor.
Try professional or civic organizations, or sororities.
Sharing similar professional or personal aspirations can always help you identify women who can understand at least where you are trying to go. They may be completely different in their personality, temperament or their cultural and life background. But if they are or have been where you are trying to go, they can offer a different but godly perspective.
One day I hope to be a Titus 2 woman for younger women who want something different than what our culture says we “should” have at each phase and stage of life. If you believe you’re ready now to mentor the next generation, I’d say you need three things: a strong listening ear, a clear understanding of or at least a willingness to learn the challenges younger women face, and discernment of how to counsel and guide those younger women according to the Word of God. Until then, I’m taking in every bit of wisdom, guidance and exhortation from my Titus 2 team.
As a tribute to Women’s History Month, I felt the Spirit’s leading to honor those women who take the Titus 2 calling seriously by actively mentoring younger generations. I’d love to know what women in your life positively influenced who you are. Who are your Titus 2 women?