As the holiday season approaches, so do the announcements of engagements, wedding invitations and babies that flood our social media timelines and mailboxes.
Similar to wedding season, the holidays from Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years can take a toll on a single person mentally and spiritually. Even the steadfast can sometimes face several kinds of thoughts that may cause them to question this season in their lives. Here are four common thoughts that singles face, and why they don’t have to be your reality this season:
“When is it going to happen for me?”
These thoughts pop up often at weddings, but during the holidays as well. For those who have experienced prolonged singleness, the waiting can make you weary. It’s an honest feeling to wonder when your “turn” will be, but we are encouraged in the Word to wait on the Lord. He gives us the strength to endure when we want to give up hope. His Holy Spirit comforts us when we are lonely, and reminds us of Scriptures when we are tempted to speak the words “Oh I give up,” on wanting to be married. Remember, there is plenty of hope as long as you’re living.
“When will it be my turn?”
Jealousy and envy can creep into our thoughts when we dwell too much on other people’s blessings and forsake the privilege of counting our own. Social media has become a new medium of comparison among people, including believers. We often see people’s lives unfold in small video clips, blogs and images and we can easily be tempted with the thoughts of jealousy and envy. All the while, we are being distracted from feeling content and being faithful in our current season and assignments.
How can God trust us with more if we are so distracted by others’ blessings? Celebrate without hesitation for their new season, for it’s a beautiful reason to rejoice! If you’re still fighting thoughts of jealousy this season, take time to pray for those you may be jealous of. Be honest with the Lord on how you feel and thank Him for your portion.
“Well, I can’t afford to get married so why bother.”
This thought is one example that causes many single men to avoid marriage—based solely on their financial status. You may be right that finances are not in order at this point, but don’t let that keep you in doubt of preparing for marriage. This thought of doubt comes to choke out any faith you may have had left in the desire to marry.
Yes, weddings can cost money, marriage can be a challenging yet fulfilling commitment, but if you know within your heart that you want marriage in your life you can’t let fear consume your thoughts. Ask the Lord to help you become a better steward over your finances and watch Him change your spending habits (I am a witness!). Another reminder for the men comes from Proverbs 18:22, that when you find a wife, one who is a gift from God, who will obtain favor from the Lord, the Lord will provide a way for the rest of your lives. Just continue to walk upright in obedience to Him and have faith.
“All the good ones are taken, what will I do now?”
Desperation is also rooted in fear and the thoughts can manifest into desperate actions, especially over the holidays. You may face the memories of an ex who broke your heart, or the ex you’d give another chance to, or even that person who’s into you but you don’t feel the same way. Desperation is not our portion, for we were created to live without needing to settle for less than God’s best for us. When that “best for you” isn’t in your life yet, you will feel uneasy in your spirit for what you settle with. If not at first, then in the long run.
If you feel the need to settle and have companionship, gather some friends for an evening out or staying in (Friendsgiving, anyone?). Call on your prayer partners and decide to trust God in the midst of your desperate thoughts. All the “good ones” are not taken; God is at work behind the scenes on your behalf, so be ready instead of worrying about your season of breakthrough.
There are so many other thoughts that we could think over the holiday season, and the Lord knows each and every one. He knows us as well as when our new season in our romantic lives will begin. Until then, ask the Lord to help keep your thoughts pure and full of thanksgiving for a content and thriving season of singleness.